Whee. I'm blogging. Text. This is so awesome. I can barely contain my excitement.

Okay, Mr. eyeseeyou (if that IS your real name), I got your message loud and clear. And I have a response:

No.

Sorry, but I've seen how these episodes go: anonymous hacker/blogger with mad editing skillz shows up out of nowhere to drop a heavily-encoded message that, once decrypted fully, leads the gang of intrepid do-gooders to a seedy construction site, where a group of G-Men show up in an unmarked white-van to capture said group and hold them (and their video cameras) hostage. ...THEN it's all up to a high school soccer girl, broody manly man, and a shampoo salesman to show up with cameras of their own to save the day.

So, rather than waste a couple of weeks going through the usual motions, I'm going to take a pro-active approach to things and just ignore your Hitchcock-inspired delusions all together, savvy?

In short, we've got a plan, and we're going through with it. Actually, to be more accurate, *I* have a plan, and Will is tagging along, because he'd prefer not to go to jail for skipping court dates. Plus, there's that whole 'someone's trying to kill us' thing that's kind of made things a little tense around these parts, but we're dealing with it. Will has managed to find Crystal's sketchbook, and he's been salivating over it during his pain-pill trip. Apparently he thinks he 'sees something', and he's going to put it all online for you lot to figure out.

Honestly, I don't see anything. I know her. Trust me, she's not exactly the 'put hidden codez in teh sketchezz' type. 

But above all:

Tomorrow and Friday, the plan goes into effect.

We're getting her back.

And fine, we're taking the cameras along...but I'm letting you know right now: if the bullets start flying, the HandyCam is getting tossed and the Beretta is getting loaded.

Yours truly,

[insert wise-cracking sign-off].

Can things get any more insane in my life? Really...can they?
You guys have no idea how much I just want to run away from all of this. Still, Crystal is in trouble, and it's up to me and Mason to get her back. Time to man up.

All I wanted was to spend 2010 with a sense of normalcy and contentment. Lately, I've been questioning if that's even possible now.

When last week's date rolled around, I figured that Crystal and I could start over on the right foot. After all, what could go wrong? I had the perfect night planned out: shopping at the mall, eating at the food court, then back to my place for some video games and a lame movie. The only PROBLEM I convinced myself I would probably run into was if I ran out of conversational topics (which, as many of you can tell, isn't really my strong point).

Forgetting the fact that the date ultimately ended in me getting shot and spending the night trying to get track down Mason without bleeding to death, things were actually going great for the most part.

Or, maybe they weren't: I don't really know how to gauge women's responses and reactions. Regardless, no matter how good or bad things were going, it all ended in disaster.

Mason's being obnoxiously strict about letting me film things, now. Apparently I'm not allowed to hold a camera until his 'plan' kicks into effect, because I'll '...probably post it online and lead them right to us.' Still trying to figure out exactly who 'they' are, but Mason isn't talking.

On top of that, my arm feels like it's been chopped off.

No matter how many times Mason claims that he's given me more than enough pain medicine, I still think he's purposely trying to add insult to injury. Still, without my dominant arm working, there isn't much I can do here in Mysteryville.

Crystal is gone, and we're going to get her back. All of you out there wanting to help should get ready, because the way the walking 5 o'clock shadow is acting, it seems like serious stuff is about to go down. Luckily, I'll most likely be doped-out on pain pills through most of it.

Life isn't ACTUALLY supposed to be this crazy, is it?