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my best friend cheats on her bf and i feel like shit?

 
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krmurr87
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:37 pm    Post subject: my best friend cheats on her bf and i feel like shit? Reply with quote

SO my best friend is quite literally a whore! And I figured...seeing as this has been a new favorite topic of our lovely LG15 I'd share my current annoyance. So she's a whore...self proclaimed and self loving of it really...she's 20 and has slept with almost 30 people (we really don't know the exact number) She currently has a wonderful bf, truely the first guy I've been able to get along w/ and actually have become friends with. He treats her amazingly ..trusts her undoubtedly, but he's kind of a moran in that sense. She has cheated on him with 3 different people so far in the last two months (one being a friend of his) and one w/ a perfect stranger tonight. He knows of the one w/ his friend, but he's still with her. SO tonight she calls me to tell me about this lil fling she's having and then starts texting me about how annoying her bf is being texting her wondering when she'll be home...if she's alright...where she is. Now this isn't clingy as she declares, this is concern. He ends up calling me and asking if I've heard from her. So I call her and ask her what she wants me to do...blah blah blah i call him back say she's fine she was out for coffee (partially the truth) he starts off with "oh well this is my fault because i told her we had to get up early tomorrow..." i hang up even more frustrated then ever.
YOu see, I live a good life. I treat the people that I'm with (friends or partners) with the utmost respect and I get shitted on...seriously shitted on! I've been cheated on and it sucks. So why is it that this girl can turn around and get any guy she wants and treat them like SHIT and they will stay, and I haven't had a decent relationship in god knows how long? Seriously now does this seem at all fair? .....oh god I could go on forever I am so incredibly -> Mad

So basically does anyone have "this" friend ....you love them to death but sometimes you just HATE THEM! And does anybody have any insight into how this will turn out oh lets say ten years down the road? Sad help
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Danielle
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I may be younger, but I get what you mean.

I natuarally kind of become good friends with the guys in my friends' lives, I bond easy to the boys. So I get really pissy with my ladies if they treat their guys like ass.

Basically, I'd lay it out to your friend about how awkward of a position it puts you in and how you question her empathy. If she treats her unaware boy like this, then how are you to know you don't have some knives in your own back. Be honest with her, if you can't be honest I doubt there is much of a friendship in the first place.
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krmurr87
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Danielle wrote:
If she treats her unaware boy like this, then how are you to know you don't have some knives in your own back.


that is a really really good point! Seriously I was watching the preview for tomorrows Oprah "Your husband cheats on your with your best friend" I don't think i would ever trust her around my husband/ bf
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watching_watchers
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 3:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*sigh* I hate when people cheat!!! >.< My best friend just had her boyfriend cheat on her with another good friend of ours and that friend thinks that she was intitled to it and it wasn't wrong cause supposedly she liked him before my bff was dating him. I said to my bff, then do i have the right too? Cause I dated him back in middle school. LOL.
I would have broke up with him. But she didn't whateverrr.
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Ziola
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I can tell you that she'll be like a friend of mine in 10 years. Married, with a spoiled brat of a kid, still cheating on her hubby and not giving a crap about it. Because of this friends behavior, we no longer spend anytime together. I don't return her phone calls or emails because she had the nerve to hit on my brother-in-law one day and that was the last straw for me.

You just have to decide if this is the type of person you really want to be associated with. Sadly enough, people are judged not only on their own merit, but on the company they keep and eventually her actions with affect your reputation.
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LesterG
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a friend in the same exact situation just about a couple of months ago... he has a history of cheating, but his 2nd to recent gf cheated on him for once... I thought he would've learned his lesson, but I guess he didn't... his gf went back to england for a year and it's like he can't be alone... blah ... he has a GREAT gf, he's her first, she has a GREAT personality and his crew (me and my other friend) like her...

he met one girl, messed with her (meaning 2nd base but no sex, still stupid in my book) ... wanted me to lie for him if she asked where he was ... after that I didn't want to talk with him until he straightened his head ... I felt dirty after seeing him flirt with other girls knowing he has a gf too ... I told him not to do anything stupid ... I felt even more so like crap, because my wife likes her too and I was hoping she could be good friends with my wife since my wife doesn't have any... but I guess it's his life, and I can't expect him to stay with someone just because I want my wife to have a good friend.

I talked to my other friend, he was disgusted too. So he just told me, he has to learn from his own mistakes. Otherwise, he'll never learn. He couldn't hang out with his other friends, cause he trusts us more. Being as that we didn't want to hang out with him at the time he had no friends to hang out with. I'm hoping he saw this and realized it ... so when we finally talked again like 2 weeks later, he said he didn't want to talk to that girl anymore and I guess he got all lovey dovey with his gf again.

Being caught up in the middle of THEIR relationship... (it's fucked up, it's really not fair to us and they should understand if they really considers us a friend), I know we can't just dump them as a friend. You've prolly been thru a bit with her, as I have with him. I would reconsider my friendship with him (I am his friend, not his excuse... you know?) let him know how I feel about it (just between me and him of course, especially if it happened to me and how fucked up I was afterwards).

Problem is ... that's what I would WANT to do... It's hard to find the courage to do so, I'll be doing it when he decides to marry his gf and if things don't change, then I would hope that it wouldn't become like Ziola's situation where he begins hitting on someone else close to me or even my wife herself. Otherwise that, right there would be my last straw as well. I know your situation well, it sucks. I hate it. I wish someone would write a book on it, cause I know I would buy it..
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krmurr87
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all ...really it's nice to know I'm not completely alone in this. I guess this is one of those situations where you learn how NOT to act.
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