Lonelygirl15

LesterG

By: Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (This one is very important.)

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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watching_watchers · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:52 pm Post subject:

Wtf? lmao. xD
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Killthesmiley · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:54 pm Post subject:

10 things?? thers 16 things there...

I'm confused. and I'm not reading it cus I'm lazy and hungry and impatient...

AND WHERE MY TAKE OUT
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kelly

YOU: Who does that KTS think she is? Total bitch!

ME: I think I'm you, only better.

~Kelly, KMurr, and Kellylen <3~

Cuddlebunni · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:15 pm Post subject:

I like those!!!

Number 14 is my fave. I tell myself that all the time.... lol...
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AutoPilate · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:17 pm Post subject:

This list has more than ten things to remember. Confused

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Why was there BACON IN THE SOAP?!

Luminous · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:56 pm Post subject:

It's a puzzle. Figure out which six don't count and you'll have the 10 that really matter Wink

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You made a wise choice, Bree.
There's no place like home.
Click to watch: The Ice Princess

Killthesmiley · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:58 pm Post subject:

NO MORE PUZZLES UNLESS TACHYON APPROVES THEM!
_________________
kelly

YOU: Who does that KTS think she is? Total bitch!

ME: I think I'm you, only better.

~Kelly, KMurr, and Kellylen <3~

7Harry7Potter7 · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:24 pm Post subject:

The first one made me laugh REALLY hard. Very Happy

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784 pages

LesterG · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:32 pm Post subject:

cup o' noodles · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:40 pm Post subject:

I've licked steak knives before. Nothing happened, I'm still fine. No cuts, because Im not stupid enough to lick the sharp, knifey part. Juts the side of the blade. Very Happy

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This world will never be what I expected.
And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?

Luminous · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:46 pm Post subject:

Luminous · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:55 pm Post subject:

And I think number 11 can go. I think you should always make a big deal out of your birthday. It kind of goes with number 6.

(clue here - 11, the question number at the beginning of the line is cancelled out by 11, the age at the end of the line.)

Ok, we're down to 14 Razz

_________________
You made a wise choice, Bree.
There's no place like home.
Click to watch: The Ice Princess

cup o' noodles · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:00 pm Post subject:

#3 is false, I think. No one on these forums would say that. That would mean that all of us are mentally ill. Laughing

Then again, I think some of us are. Laughing

_________________
This world will never be what I expected.
And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?

Luminous · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:08 pm Post subject:

cup o' noodles · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:10 pm Post subject:

lol, More like what Lewis Caroll has to say about that. Laughing

Okay, so what else....Hmmm....
_________________
This world will never be what I expected.
And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?