View source for The Road to Manchester

{{Blog
| name        = {{PAGENAME}}
| number      = 188
| image       = KM188-LeePresenter.jpg
| caption     = Join our fantastic road show!
| blogger     = Julia
| date        = February 25th, 2008
| url         = {{KM|233}}
| forumid     = 593
| length      = 3:27
| description = The nationwide Lee Phillips tour has begun! Our first big event didn’t go exactly to plan and I’m posting this to shame Gavin who I hold responsible.
| location    = [[Manchester]]
| tags        = {{tags|}}

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| cast        = 
{{VidChar|Julia}}
{{VidChar|Lee}}
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{{VidChar|Charlie}}

| Previous    = Who Are The FTO? 
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{{EpHeader|KM=yes|188}}

==Transcript==
(''Charlie, Gavin, Julia, and Lee are packed into Charlie's [[KM Product placement|Aygo]], heading out of London''.)

'''Gavin:''' Madame Tussauds.

'''Lee:''' Is that a brothel?

'''Gavin:''' Yes, Lee, it's a brothel. It's a big wax brothel. Here we go, down the A40.

'''Julia:''' Woo!

'''Charlie:''' I go straight here...

'''Gavin:''' We're getting out of London! Here we go!

(''The car passes under a sign and Gavin claps. Cut to Gavin struggling with a road map outside of the car. Cut to Gavin sleeping on Julia's shoulder. His head slips lower until it gets close to her breast, and she smacks his head away. Cut to Julia taking lunch boxes out of a bag. She hands one to Lee''.)

'''Julia:''' Give that to Charlie?

'''Lee:''' That can't have peanut butter, or else I'm dead.

'''Gavin:''' Well, that- that'd be a real shame. Tragic.

(''Cut to Gavin sleeping while Julia begins wrapping gauze around his head. Cut to Charlie smiling in the rear-view mirror at Julia, who has Gavin's head completely covered in gauze. Julia puts bandages over Gavin's nose and mouth. Cut to Gavin looking wildly around, still in the gauze. He rips the gauze off of his head and everyone laughs. Cut to a shot of outside at sundown. Cut to a shot of Manchester''.)

'''Gavin:''' This is Manchester! I'm coming home! Oh, honestly, when you see my mates from home, they'll- they'll letch. You'll love 'em.

(''Cut to Lee standing by a table at the back of Charlie's car, wearing a pair of guitar sunglasses''.)

'''Lee:''' Hello there, and welcome to Artifacts or Crap, In Fact! Our antiques roadshow where people on the street must identify our priceless piece of Manchurian Memorabilia from amongst our table of tat. Will you be able to tell the difference between Morrissey's library card and my Morrisons card? Do you know your Oasis from your Topshop? If you do, you could be in line to win a stackload of cash as we take our antiques to auction! Let's meet the contestants!

(''Lee motions and the camera pans to across the street, where a bunch of elderly women are walking.'')

'''Lee:''' Hey. You don't think it's a bit dodgy, do you? Scouser in Manchester, surrounded by all of these tough-looking Mankyunions. I might get battered! (''Laughs''.)

'''Julia:''' I think you'll be fine.

'''Lee:''' Yeah, well, don't think I'm gonna get beaten up by Gavin's mates, though, do you?

'''Gavin:''' Yeah, sure.

'''Lee:''' Oh, come on, Gavin, tell everybody why I'm not gonna get beaten up by your mates.

'''Gavin:''' I mean it, Lee, sure, seriously.

'''Lee:''' Oh, god. The ''reason'' why I am not going to be beaten up by Gavin's mates is because none of them have shown up! (''Laughs''.)

'''Gavin:''' Alright. Cheers, mate.

'''Lee:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or maybe he made them all up as well, eh? You got no mates up here, either, Gavin.

'''Gavin:''' Alright, it's not actually ''my'' fault there's no one here. Blame the producer.

'''Julia:''' Oh, shutup, Gavin!

'''Gavin:''' Yeah?

'''Lee:''' No, come on, Julia, if we had have gone to Liverpool like I said, all of my friends and family would have turned up.

'''Gavin:''' Yeah, only because they'd be trying to nick all the stuff.

'''Julia:''' Oh, come on, children, put your donnies back in the pram. Gavin, help him with his mike, will you? Charlie, you know this is gonna be a nightmare with these two all week.

(''Charlie looks at her watch as loud banging is heard from behind the camera. Julia turns around to find Gavin attacking Lee, with the table of items knocked onto the sidewalk''.)

'''Julia:''' Oh! Oi! What is th- Charlie, take the (inaudible)

'''Charlie:''' Okay.

(''Gavin has Lee in a headlock as Julia approaches them''.)

'''Julia:''' What have you done?

'''Gavin:''' (''Looks at the broken table and items''.) Well it was a stupid idea for a show, anyway. (''Lets Lee go''.)

'''Julia:''' Thanks, Gavin.

'''Gavin:''' Well it was, wasn't it?

(''Julia picks up the broken pieces of a cookie jar''.)

'''Julia:''' You've broken Mick Hucknall's cookie jar. (''Gavin and Lee laugh''.) It's not funny! This cost a lot.

'''Gavin:''' (inaudible)

'''Julia:''' (''Threatens Gavin with a shard from the jar''.) Don't push it!

'''Charlie:''' Right, just leave it. Let's go.

==Notes==
*This video reveals that Lee has an allergic reaction to peanut butter.
*{{Wikipedia|Madame_Tussauds|Madame Tussauds}} is a famous wax museum in London, with many branches elsewhere in the world. Lee likely asks whether it is a brothel due to having "Madame" in the name.
*Both {{Wikipedia|Morrissey}} and {{Wikipedia|Oasis_(band)|Oasis}} are famous musical acts from Manchester.
*The phrase "put your donnies back in the pram" means "put your hands back in the stroller", emphasizing that Julia thinks Gavin and Lee are acting like babies.