Connect With This!
|Connect With This!|
|Date Posted||May 6th, 2008|
|URL|| lg15.com |
|Description|| Celestial Network? Pull the other one!|
|Location(s)|| Aunt Joan's house|
|YouTube Tags||KateModern LG15 lonelygirl15 Gavin|
|Executive Producer(s)|| Miles Beckett and Greg Goodfried|
|Co-Executive Producer(s)|| Joanna Shields and Amanda Goodfried|
|On-Set Producer|| Louis Figgis|
|Line Producer|| Kelly Brett|
|Production Co-Ordinator|| Claire Finbow|
|Interactive Co-ordinator(s)|| Jonathan Almond|
|Production Runner(s)|| Meryl Iona Edwards|
|Director(s)|| Yusuf Pirhasan|
|Head Writer|| Luke Hyams|
|Vidplay|| Lawrence Tallis|
|Story|| Luke Hyams, Neil Mossey, and Lawrence Tallis|
|Editor(s)|| John Palmer|
|Previous||"The Celestial Network"|
|Next|| "Primrose Hill"|
|Previous by Gavin|| "Voicemail"|
|Next by Gavin||"Sex, Drugs and on the Dole"|
(Gavin is standing in front of a black tarp and two candles, holding a torch under his face. He turns slowly toward the camera.)
Gavin: I promised myself I wasn't going to blog anymore, but I was so moved by Steve's video yesterday that I felt I had to say something. After much contemplation, soul-searching, I can't think of anything I'd rather do than join Steve's virgin-'til-you're-twenty-five cult. I think the idea of spreading love on the internet sounds delightful. And who needs actual bodily contact when you can just connect through cyberspace?
(Gavin laughs and drops the flashlight.)
You idiot! Oh, come on, don't you realize that your little manifesto speech just sounds like a desperate attempt to get laid? Right, I-I don't blame you, mind. Hey, if I'd been denied the pleasures of the flesh for twenty-five years, then I-I reckon I'd become obsessed with it the first time I got me first sniff. (Laughs.)
But do you seriously expect that people are gonna "connect" with you in some cult? You couldn't even get those cheesy Americans to stay friends with you for more than a couple of weeks before they set you free in the woods. Oh, they thought you were trying to kill them, didn't they, Steve? Yes. (Laughs.)
I did feel for you on that a little bit, though. You know, first Rupert, and then Jonas. Just looks like your list of failed bromances is racing along quite nicely. And you did have that week-long Van Sandwich with Tariq last year. Hmm. I'm not judging, though. I-I- It's the twenty-first century; I think you should be whatever you want to be. Just- just be honest with yourself, Steve.
And while we're talking about honesty, let's talk about what's really going on here. You've seen the power that Rupert and the other Hymn of One phonies have got, and you want a piece of the action, don't you? A-and why not? Because if people are stupid enough to believe in the Hymn of One, then they'll believe in some Celestial Network. (Scoffs.) It's got nothing to do with Kate, it's got nothing to do with love, it's about power and it's about money. It makes me sick. This is a money-making enterprise and nothing more and people are gonna see right through it.
(The tarp falls from the wall behind Gavin. He laughs and bows at the camera.)
Until next time, my children.