Spring Break Sucks
Bree: So... I'm feeling... a little blue today. Daniel and Jonas went off to bars, and they invited me to go with them, but I just... I don't know, it's just not... you know, me. You probably think that I'm a total spaz or something, because, I mean, people come to Mexico to party, right? I guess that's just what they do. I saw this girl. She was about my age, and she was sitting on the beach with her friends, and I dunno, I guess it's Spring Break or something? It's not that... I want to be like them, it's just that... they seem like they don't have a care in the world, and all the things that people do that are my age, I usually think are really stupid. You know, and I'm sitting there and I'm thinking about my mom and my dad and the Order and Jonas's parents and I just... I felt really overwhelmed, and just literally got up and ran away.
(Cut to Bree walking along a Mexican street.) So... we're all pretty stressed out right now. I mean, you saw Daniel's video, there's clearly more than meets the eye. I mean, I think that maybe Alex's relationship with the Order is more complicated than we thought. I just want to go in there and talk to her, but of course Daniel and Jonas think I am crazy.
(Cut to Bree sitting) I read this article about how men and women deal with stress differently, and I wanted to understand why (loudly) I never agree with them. (normally) Until recently, the standard mechanism for dealing with stress was very simple: you either choose to face something or you run from it. This is called "fight or flight". Well, move over fight or flight, there's a new paradigm in town. Turns out, all the research done establishing this fight or flight--get ready for it-- (loudly again) was done on men. (normally) Apparently, this is a trend. Bree to the scientific community: if you only do your research on men, you may have trouble getting accurate results on things such as... God, what's it called... (taps her head as though trying to remember) oh, pregnancy! (shrugs)
(Cut to Bree sitting by some flowers.) Turns out, when they actually did use women as test subjects, they reacted totally different to stress. (Bree cups her hand around her eye as though looking through a telescope or microscope and speaks in a weird "scientist" voice.) Whoa, what is that? (normally) That was strange. According to the article, when women are faced with a similarly stressful situation, they do something called "tend and befriend".
(Cut to Bree walking down a street toward Daniel and Jonas. The are slumped against a wall, obviously drunk, and Daniel is wearing a giant sombrero over his face.)
Bree: Wow... anybody else have deja vu? (She walks over to them.) What... (She pulls the sombrero off Daniel's face.)
Daniel: (looking dazed and mumbling) What are you doing...
Bree: I'm tending. Don't fight it.
Jonas: What... bartending?
Bree: (speaking to Jonas) Let's start with you. Stand up. (Jonas moans as she pulls at his arm.) This is hard to do, holding a camera. You gotta help me, be a little more helpful. Careful, there's a car.
(Cut to Jonas, hugging a pole.)
Jonas: I love you, pole. (He kisses it. Bree giggles.)
Bree: Here, hold the camera, then you go. Go!
Bree: Lean on me, lean on me! Oh my God... (Jonas laughs.)
Jonas: It's like we're dancing with cars-- hey!
Bree: Kind of.
(Cut to Bree and Jonas by the SUV. He leans against it heavily.)
Bree: Are you okay, you okay?
Jonas: I'm good. (He starts to fall.)
Bree: Whoa! (She catches him, puts his arm over her shoulder and drags him to the SUV.)
Jonas: You're so strong...
Bree: I know, I am.
Bree: Oh! (She lays him in the cargo area in the back of the SUV)
Jonas: Mmmmm.... goodnight!
Bree: Here, put your feet in. You good? 'Kay. (She turns around.) Daniel? Oh, God, Daniel! (She runs over to him.) 'Kay. N-n-n-n-no. Come on, off. (She takes the sombrero off of him.)
Daniel: Oh... no... wait. (He bends to pick up the sombrero.)
Bree: Okay, come on, let's go.
Daniel: Uno mas.
Bree: I don't speak Spanish, neither does Jonas.
Daniel: Uno... uno mas.
Bree: It's okay. (She tries to take his sombrero.) Take this off. I'll hold it, I'll hold it, I'll put it in a safe place, I'll--
Daniel: Oh... my... front seat...
Bree: Yeah, you're gonna get the front seat if you just give me the hat.
(Bree finally gets the sombrero away from Daniel.)
Bree: Yeah, he's dead. Just kidding, just kidding, come on! You wanna lay... in there. (She dumps him in the back, next to and partially on top of Jonas, then arranges his feet.) Are you comfortable?
Jonas: I could use a drink.
Bree: No, you can't.
Daniel: (mumbling) I'm not comfortable... (He puts his hands where the hatch door won't squish them.)
Bree: Perfect! Keep your hands there, good. (She slams the hatch door of the SUV down.) Uhh!
(Cut to Bree standing in front of a wall.)
Bree: So, I think that's about all the tending I'm gonna do for one day. As for the befriending, well, that I'll have to start again tomorrow. (whispering) They're not gonna be happy when they wake up. (normally) You guys are on your own from here. You know what? I feel less stressed already. Thanks, science.
Text: I found this on Daniel's camera. No wonder you guys ended up in the alley. Hehehe
Daniel: (wearing the sombrero and in a loud, high pitched voice) Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa.