The Naked Truth

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Episode 267/2x011
The Naked Truth

KM0267-GavAttacksSteve.jpg
Take your shirt off Steve!

Blogger Steve
Date Posted May 22nd, 2008
URL lg15.com
Forum [755 forum discussion]
Length 5:56
Description The first meeting of the Celestial Network didn't quite go as planned.
Location(s) Celestial Network HQ
Cast
Steve Giles Alderson
Gavin Ralf Little
Balthazar Louis Figgis
Jeremy Yusuf Pirhasan
Meryl Meryl Iona Edwards
Hymn of One member Unknown
Sofina Shuo Zhang
Adjacent Blogs
Previous "Straight To The Top"
Next "Back on Brick Lane"
Previous by Steve "The Dinner Party"

The Naked Truth is the two-hundred sixty-seventh video in the lonelygirl15 video series. It is also the eleventh video of season two.

Transcript

(Jeremy polishes the camera lens.)

Steve: I think it's clean now, Jeremy.

Jeremy: OK.

Steve: Ahem. You are about to witness one of the first official meetings of the Celestial Network. The response we've had has been overwhelming, so we've decided to post the entire event online, so that everyone can connect with us in what is, after all, the universal network. Now, I'm afraid Charlie couldn't be with us today, but, uh, everything's going great, so... Well, without further ado, le-let us begin. We're, um, we're actually just waiting for one more person, so this is it.

Sofina: (inaudible)

Steve: Ah, here she is.

(Meryl enters.)

Meryl: Sorry I'm late.

Steve: Good evening! Thank you all so much for attending. This is the birth of something great. A new paradigm of spiritual interaction. The Celestial Network is about love, and that's what I wanted to talk about this evening. For too long, we have let outdated notions of what it means to love rule our lives! Ubiquitous myths, peddled by religions an-and bureaucratic institutions have their sway! The teach us that sex before marriage is wrong, that inter-faith relationships are wrong, and they preach monogamy, and, and they give tax breaks to married couples. The powers that be have insisted on creating rules and regulations for relationships for as long as we've been having them, but these are just social constructs based on a fundamental misconception! The self, as I understand it, is an illusion. We are all part of a glorious, universal reality. Cosmic wonders. Absolute unity. And if we can learn to transcend our egos, and open our hearts to the fact that the eye and the universe are in fact one and the same thing, then we will experience love, in its truest form. To love someone is a wonderful thing, but to experience true enlightenment, and realize our place as but one part of a cosmic totality, powered by love... Well, that would be something truly amazing. An-and that what I-I wanted t-to bring here: our journey, in the Celestial Network. Thank you. Um, I have learnt to love from my recent experiences, and I believe that we could all learn to love each other, without guilt, without shame, without fear and without constructs, for these are the words of the oppressors. Perhaps-

(Gavin enters.)

Gavin: The fuck is this, Steve? Is this the big sequel, is it? Huh? You've, you've seen our escape from the clutches of a maniac, well now watch as Steve battles to start his own cult!

(Gavin prods Steve in the chest.)

Steve: Gavin, you're not welcome here. (inaudible)

Gavin: Well, where's the evil mastermind behind this, eh? Where is she, she's got to be here somewhere...

Steve: I don't understand what-

Gavin: She's... there's... Where's Kate?

Steve: Go on.

Gavin: I know you're in on, you're in on all of this too, and she's behind it... Where are... that's not her... that's not her either, where is she?

Steve: Gavin! Gavin, I'm happy to talk to you, but as you can see, we're in the middle of a meeting here-

Gavin: Shut up, Steve! Don't lie. I know you're in on it, I know you're part of this. Don't touch me! I know you all; you can't lie about this forever.

(Gavin leaves. Balthazar closes the door behind him and sits down.)

Steve: Sorry, everyone. If only we could reach out to people like that. People that are consumed with anger and hatred. But for now, w-we should start with ourselves. Er, let us show the power of love. Yes? OK. Connect with me.

(The circle of listeners join hands with Steve.)

Steve: Connect with each other. Unite the universe with love!

(Gavin re-enters and laughing, takes off his jacket.)

Gavin: Big loving, is it, Steve? Well, I'll tell you what, why don't me and you just have a big loving right now?

(Gavin walks up to Steve, taking off his own tie and shirt.)

Gavin: Just me and you! In fact, why don't we get them all involved? Why don't we?

Steve: Gavin, please-

Gavin: Kate? Let's have a big, cosmic gangbang, right here, right now!

Steve: Look, Kate's dead!

(Balthazar attempts to get Gavin to put his jacket back on.)

Gavin: Why don't you get involved? Why don't you get involved, sweetheart? I don't mind! Come on, take this off!

(Gavin tries to undo Steve's shirt.)

Steve: Gavin, Gavin!

(Meryl gets up to leave. Gavin takes off his trousers.)

Gavin: Hey, get on the table! Get on the table, girls! It'll be a lot of fun! Why don't we all get involved? Why don't we have a big, cosmic gangbang right here, eh?

(Gavin grabs Jeremy's camera.)

Gavin: Come on, mate, you can get involved too! Come on, it'll be fun!

Notes