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|Date Posted||November 13th, 2006|
|Description|| P. Monkey tells Gemma to put up or shut up. |
|YouTube Tags||lg15 lonelygirl15 gemma purple monkey|
|Previous||"Owen's Still so Angry"|
|Next||"It's On, Gemma!"|
(Purple Monkey is sitting in front of a laptop, watching the video "Don't Trust The Authorities.")
Gemma: (in the video) ...bumper cars. Regrettably, the sport was discontinued the next time around. It's a real loss. I think Owen and Thor would be quite good at it; I'm not sure about P. Monkey, though. He's kind of a wanker.
P. Monkey: W-what??
Gemma: Anyway, keep doing what you're doing, and you'll be fine. Oh, don't tell P. Monkey what I said about him...
P. Monkey: Damn right.
Gemma: ...he looks like a fragile little geezer.
P. Monkey: Well, what the f**k?! Ohh...
(fade to black, fade up to P. Monkey standing behind his "Lonelygirl Inc." podium.)
P. Monkey: Good afternoon, everybody. This is Purple Monkey. I've prepared a few words regarding the recent comments about me made by Bree's friend, Gemma, in her video, "Don't Trust the Authorities." I'd like to start by saying... Oh no, you didn't!! What in the holy purple simian hell would posses you to think that it would be a good idea to trade insults with me? We've never even met, and now I'm a wanker, and a geezer?? I swear to Hathor's hind teeth that if you stay on this road, I will break you down and make you cry. (pauses, clears throat) Now.
In the interest of munificence, I want to extend this offer to you. You don't know me, I don't know you... Perhaps there was some mitigating circumstance surrounding your comments. Maybe you were drunk or high, maybe you'd just recently been hit in the head with a cricket bat... And if that's the case, you just let me know that you did not mean to say what you did in your next video. We'll forget the whole ugly matter. The choice is yours.
And another thing, and this goes for all of you. If there are things you want to keep secret from someone, a person or a puppet maybe... stop posting them on the goddamn Internet!! Daniel, I'm lookin' at you right now. You were breaking and entering and you videoed it and posted it on the Internet. (sighs) Purple Monkey out. For now.