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Someone Died
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nobackspacebutton
The Order of Denderah


Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 5301
Location: High Heels and Stockings

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:40 am    Post subject: Someone Died Reply with quote

Okay. About a year ago I met my boyfriends Dad.

It was that time that we met his Dad's girlfriend.

His dad got married to her about a month or two ago.

We've only seen her maybe 3 to 4 times, at most.

We have only talked to her on the phone maybe once or twice.



Her mom died on New Years.

Its not that I don't care when people die...but I'm completely emotionless to it because I don't know this person.

I barely know her, let alone knowing anyone in her family.

His dad told us that they knew her mom was going to die, because she had been sick a long time.

Everyone is giving me shit about this...like I'm supposed to break down crying? Meanwhile I'm just like, well...people die...at least she doesn't have to be sick anymore.

People die every week...every day...every minute...all people that we don't know. Are we supposed to cry for each one? Or is it just polite to pretend that we care?
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AutoPilate
The Order of Denderah


Joined: 18 Oct 2006
Posts: 4344
Location: Vatican City State (Holy See)

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't care either.
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nobackspacebutton
The Order of Denderah


Joined: 04 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

AutoPilate wrote:
Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't care either.


You make me smile. ^_^
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Beckers
Thor's Hammer


Joined: 18 Dec 2006
Posts: 1131

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:45 am    Post subject: Re: Someone Died Reply with quote

If you can not be upset about it then fine....if you weren't that close then it's only natural you wouldn't feel that "devestation" everyone else is feeling. Don't let the ppl who think you should be upset get to you. Instead help the people you DO care about and ARE worried about get through this difficult time.
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nobackspacebutton
The Order of Denderah


Joined: 04 Oct 2006
Posts: 5301
Location: High Heels and Stockings

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:49 am    Post subject: Re: Someone Died Reply with quote

Beckers wrote:
If you can not be upset about it then fine....if you weren't that close then it's only natural you wouldn't feel that "devestation" everyone else is feeling. Don't let the ppl who think you should be upset get to you. Instead help the people you DO care about and ARE worried about get through this difficult time.


But the thing is, my boyfriend doesn't even know her. We know her just the same.

And his brother too. Maybe his brother has seen her two - three times more than we have.

And they are just like wtf is your attitude?
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roxybebito
Casual Observer


Joined: 07 Oct 2006
Posts: 34

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

dude, you sound just like my best friend! if you cried for everyone dead, then what time would you have to do anything else?
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Beckers
Thor's Hammer


Joined: 18 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

why must people expect others to fall apart at the drop of a hat. Just take some space for yourself until things cool down I guess.
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AutoPilate
The Order of Denderah


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Take up knitting. =)
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nobackspacebutton
The Order of Denderah


Joined: 04 Oct 2006
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Location: High Heels and Stockings

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

AutoPilate wrote:
Take up knitting. =)


I can crochet. =P
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Kasdeja
Hymn of One


Joined: 15 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't cry when people die, even those close to me. That's not to say I haven't been extremely saddened when someone close dies, but for some reason I don't cry. I don't feel bad about it. I just support those around me who can't cope as well. I certainly don't think less of someone because they handle death differently than I do, though. You don't cry. They cry. Whatever, everyone deals differently.
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betz28
The Order of Denderah


Joined: 18 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

AutoPilate wrote:
Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't care either.


k, that was funny
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MrsCop
Devoted Fan


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 525

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 4:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Someone Died Reply with quote

nobackspacebutton wrote:
Everyone is giving me shit about this...like I'm supposed to break down crying? Meanwhile I'm just like, well...people die...at least she doesn't have to be sick anymore.

People die every week...every day...every minute...all people that we don't know. Are we supposed to cry for each one? Or is it just polite to pretend that we care?


I hate it when people do that. It's almost like they would rather have you cry & fake it than not at all.
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lonelyelendi
The Order of Denderah


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4898
Location: Bellevue, WA

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have had a lot of my relatives die when I was very young, subsequently, I don't have the same reaction to death. I don't break down and cry, I give my respects in silence and move on...it is not that I don't care, it is just that I don't see why it is such a big deal...to me it is like makin a big fuss when someone pees....everyone pees, and you want to be special cause you pee? I know I am very cynical about death, but don't give me a hard time....losing both my grandfathers, two uncles, an aunt and a cousin all before you are seven tends to f**k you up a little.
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MrsCop
Devoted Fan


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 525

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

awww Kenny, you aren't f'd up, you're umm seasoned! that's it
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breewithcrackers
Lonely Fan


Joined: 08 Nov 2006
Posts: 202

PostPosted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i think sending a card would be a nice gesture, but beyond that I don't think it's necessary to make a big deal over it or even care about it. it doesn't make you a bad person.

just saying somehting like "you're in our thoughts" or whatever on a card is fine. and that way it might get people off your back.


how you cope with a death is no one's business but your own. people have no right to harass you over something like that. a simple "I don't criticize how you face tragedy so please don't criticize how I face tragedy" is a good, polite, "f**k off" too and it will put people in their place for sure.
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