Lonelygirl15

[lonelyelendi]

So as of late I have been in the mood to write scripts, and I would like some feedback, as well as a place for other people to post their work...

Or to view my collection in its entirety:

Random Incoherence

RULES:
1) Please post PG-13 ONLY content here.
2) Respect the work of others! Only comment constructively. Please refrain from leaving hurtful comments!
3) Ask the author before using the work elsewhere.
4) Have fun!

Included Works:

Shady Business: Part 1 ………………………….

Shady Business: Part 2 ………………………….

Shady Business: Part 3 ……………………………

Over-“Easy” ………………………………………..

“What’s Your Sign?” ……………………………..

In Sickness and In Health ………………….

For Richer or For Poorer …………………….

Commitment. ……………………………………

Fish ……………………………………………………

People ……………………………………………………
_________________
My plays: Random Incoherence
'vote 'mute in '08!
Diane's adopted son
<marlasinger> i'll rape you!
<marlasinger> i mean
<marlasinger> damnit marla be smooth

[lonelyelendi]

Shady Business:
Part 1
A short written by Kenneth Dale VandenBerghe and Devin (Euphoria)

Cast:
Hippie – [Not Cast]
Business Man – [Not Cast]

[LIGHTS UP.]

[A Hippie in a tie-dye tee-shirt is sitting on a bench at a bus stop. A Business Man in a suit approaches the stop. The two men remain in silence for several seconds, shooting glances at each other. The Business Man attempts to sit down multiple times, but stops each time by glancing at the bench. Eventually he takes a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes the bench. He sits.]

Hippie: [Chuckling to himself] I don’t carry smallpox, you
know.

Business Man: Excuse me?

Hippie: Is the bench clean enough for you, now?

Business Man: Do you know how many germs are on this bench? Millions. Billions. Trillions, even. All of which could infect me, and I can’t afford that right now.

Hippie: I sit on this bench every day, and I haven’t caught anything yet. If I do, you’ll be the first to know.

[Business Man flashes a very contrived smile and condescending smile at Hippie]

Hippie: So why can’t you afford to be sick right now, if you don’t mind my asking?

Business Man: I do mind. But, if you must know, I have a very important interview today. [Under his breath] Not that you’d know what a “job” is.

[Hippie begins sliding towards the business man. The Business Man does not notice at first, but soon he begins sliding away from Hippie]

Hippie: I’ll have you know, I am the president of a major corporation.

Business Man: [Under his breath, again] Sure you are.

Hippie: In fact, I am interviewing some young kid like you. Fresh out of college, thinks he is the king of the world.

[By this time the Hippie has his arm around the Business Man. Business Man attempts to wriggle free.]

Business Man: [With forced pleasantness, that the Hippie sees through] Actually, I am being interviewed by…

[A bus pulls up. Business Man stands and moves towards the doors. They open. He begins to get on, but before he can fully enter the bus Hippie shouts]

Hippie: Who did you say?

Business Man: DONALD REDMOND!

[Business Man turns and the doors of the bus close.]

Hippie: [Chuckling to himself] That would be me.

[BLACKOUT.]


*The End*
_________________
My plays: Random Incoherence
'vote 'mute in '08!
Diane's adopted son
<marlasinger> i'll rape you!
<marlasinger> i mean
<marlasinger> damnit marla be smooth

[lonelyelendi]

Shady Business:
Part 2
A short written by Kenneth Dale VandenBerghe

Cast:
Hippie – [Not Cast]
Business Man 2 – [Not Cast]

[LIGHTS UP.]

[The Hippie from Part 1 is at his bench again, this time however he is dressed in a suit with his hair slicked back. Business Man 2 approaches dressed in a suit. The two men remain in silence for several seconds, shooting glances at each other. Business Man 2 attempts to sit down multiple times, but stops each time by glancing at the bench. Eventually he takes a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes the bench. He sits. This is all done exactly as it was done in Part 1.]

Hippie: [Chuckles to himself.] Going to a big job interview?

Business Man 2: Yes, actually. I have an interview with some crazy hippie CEO. My friend had an interview with the guy a few days ago.

Hippie: Oh, really? Did it go well?

Business Man 2: He didn’t get the job, so I guess not. [Laughs a little to himself.] But I’m not as stupid as he is; I know how to play freaks like this guy.

Hippie: [Under his breath] I am sure you do. [Chuckles slightly.]

Business Man 2: What was that?

Hippie: I said “Good luck!”
Business Man 2: Oh, thanks! [Notices his bus coming] That’s my bus.

[A bus pulls up to the stop and Business Man 2 gets on. The doors close and the bus pulls away.]

Hippie: [Chuckling slightly] He doesn’t stand a chance.

[BLACKOUT.]


*The End*
_________________
My plays: Random Incoherence
'vote 'mute in '08!
Diane's adopted son
<marlasinger> i'll rape you!
<marlasinger> i mean
<marlasinger> damnit marla be smooth

[lonelyelendi]

Shady Business:
Part 3
A short written by Kenneth Dale VandenBerghe and Devin (Euphoria)

Cast:
Hippie – [Not Cast]
Business Woman – [Not Cast]

[LIGHTS UP.]

[A Hippie in a tie-dye tee-shirt is sitting on a bench at a bus stop. A Business Woman in a suit approaches the stop. She smiles genuinely and sits down. Hippie looks at her. A beat. She looks at him. A beat]

Hippie: You want a job?

[BLACKOUT.]


*The End*
_________________
My plays: Random Incoherence
'vote 'mute in '08!
Diane's adopted son
<marlasinger> i'll rape you!
<marlasinger> i mean
<marlasinger> damnit marla be smooth

[lonelyelendi]

Over-“Easy”
A short written by Kenneth Dale VandenBerghe

Cast:
Patron
Harriett
Cook

[LIGHTS UP.]

[A man, Patron, enters a run-down diner. The place is empty. He takes a seat at the counter and pulls a menu from its place next to the napkin dispenser. An elderly woman, Harriett, in a waitress uniform approaches him]

Harriett: Welcome to Al’s Diner. What do you want?

Patron: Uh, hi. Can I get a cup of decaf?

Harriett: Nope.

Patron: [A beat] Excuse me?

Harriett: [Flat tone, as if simply repeating herself] I said “Nope.”

Patron: Uh… [With much pleasantness as he can muster] Please?

Harriett: [Confused] Please what?

Patron: [Slightly irritated] Please may I have a cup of decaf?

Harriett: Nope.

Patron: Why not?

Harriett: Don’t got no decaf.

Patron: Oh! Oh. Alright, uh…Just a cup of regular, then.

Harriett: Don’t got no regular.

Patron: You don’t have any coffee?

Harriett: [Matter-of-factly] I didn’t say we don’t got no coffee. We got coffee.

Patron: [Irritated] Then, will you please just give me a cup?

Harriett: Can’t.

Patron: Why not?

Harriett: We ain’t got no coffee pot.

Patron: [Deep sigh. Tries to be polite] Fine. It’s fine. Do you have water?

Harriett: Yeah, we got water.

Patron: And clean glasses?

Harriett: Yup, clean glasses too.

Patron: Then give me a glass of water.

Harriett: You got it. Anything to eat?

Patron: Yeah. Um…just get me two eggs, over-easy.

Harriett: [Repeating the order slowly while writing it down] Two eggs…over…What did you say you wanted those eggs over, again?

Patron: [Patronizing] Over-“easy”.

Harriett: Over “Easy”?

Patron: [Speaking down to Harriett with false pleasant tone] Thaaaaat’s right!

Harriett: Why do you want eggs over Easy? Seems a bit strange…

Patron: What…?

Harriett: [Continuing her thought] I mean, Easy usually stays in the kitchen. I can go ask ‘im if he would…

Patron: [Cutting Harriett off] What the hell are you talking about?

Harriett: Well, I thought…

Patron: [Cutting Harriett off again, very irritated] You know what? I don’t care. Just get me the water and I’ll…

[Cook‘s voice from the back of the diner]

Cook: [Shouting from back] Is someone out there?

Harriett: Uh-oh!

Cook: Harriett? Is that you? I thought I told you…

Harriett: [Hurriedly to Patron] Thanks for coming!

[Harriett runs out, and Cook in a white apron rushes out of the back of the diner to find Patron sitting baffled at the counter]

Cook: Did a woman in a waitress outfit with big, curly hair come in here?

Patron: Uh…well, yes. She was…uh…taking my order. Well, actually, she was…

Cook: [Not listening to Patron, continuing his thought] God damn it! She got out again!

Patron: I’m sorry. What now?

Cook: [As if telling a legend or myth] That woman isn’t a waitress here. She isn’t a waitress anywhere. [Correcting himself] Anymore, that is. She used to work here, ‘bout… [pause while trying to remember] forty-five years back. But after her husband was brutally murdered she kind of lost her mind. Can’t really blame her, though. Eventually, she started trying to take orders from empty tables. ‘Course, she was very polite to those tables, but the fact is she just wasn’t… [A beat] all there, you know? So, she got put in a mental hospital. But she manages to escape every once in a while ‘cause she don’t seem crazy, and them orderlies just can’t tell she is a patient. When she is out, she always comes here. Usually starts trying to tell that booth over there about the specials. [Overcome by nostalgia and sadness over Harriett‘s story.]

Patron: [In disbelief] Wow. I – I had no idea. Well, [chuckles a little] that explains a lot.

Cook: [Chuckles a little in response to Patron] So, can I get you anything?

Patron: [Suddenly remembering he is in the diner] Yes! [With genuine politeness] Can I have a cup of decaf?

Cook: Nope.

[Patron‘s head falls and hits countertop. Cook shrugs and walks behind the counter, takes the rag off of his shoulder and begins wiping the counter with it.]

[BLACKOUT.]


*The End*
_________________
My plays: Random Incoherence
'vote 'mute in '08!
Diane's adopted son
<marlasinger> i'll rape you!
<marlasinger> i mean
<marlasinger> damnit marla be smooth

[lonelyelendi]

In Sickness and In Health
A short written by Kenneth Dale VandenBerghe


Cast:
Man
Woman


[LIGHTS UP.]

[We see a room with a lit fireplace with two large armchairs on either side. A Woman is sitting in the stage left chair reading a book which conceals her face. A Man enters from stage left and crosses to the stage right chair. He sits and opens a newspaper.]

Woman: [Without lowering her book] Good evening.

Man: [Without lowering his paper] Good evening, indeed.

Woman: Couldn't think of anything original, eh? Just like a man; always repeating the intelligent thoughts of a woman.

Man: Intelligent? You simply said "Good evening," to which I replied the same. How like a woman to make mountains out of mole hills.

Woman: [Lowers the book slightly, revealing only her eyes] Are you calling me a whore?

Man: [Flips down top of newspaper, revealing his face] What the...Where the hell did you get that?

Woman: [Slowly and deliberately closes the book and lowers it to her lap] Oh, I see. So, I am fat?

Man: I said nothing of the...


Woman: [Cutting in. Stands.] Why can't you ever be supportive of me? All I ask for is a little help now and again, and what do I get? [Turns her back to Man] Sarcasm! That is all you are good for! [Turns back toward Man. Walks towards him] But, of course, you lose the sarcasm if you want to have sex! Then I am the queen of the world for the next 2 minutes!

Man: [Stands, throwing his paper onto his seat] TWO MINUTES? I can go AT LEAST two and a half, and you know it!

[Man and Woman are now in each other’s faces, yelling.]

Woman: Oh, forgive me! YOU THINK TWO AND A HALF MINUTES IS ENOUGH TO SATISFY ME? Well, it ISN'T!

Man: Since when is it my job to satisfy you? You sure as hell don't satisfy me!

Woman: Well, I never! That is it! Enough! You want satisfaction? Well, you better stretch your hand out, because that is the only satisfaction you will be getting from now on!

Man: "From now on?" When did I ever get satisfaction elsewhere?

Woman: You know what? F*** you! F*** you! I am going to stay at my mother's! We are through! You hear me? THROUGH! [She goes behind her chair and picks up a small pre-packed suitcase. She begins walking toward the door.]

Man: Well, good riddance! ...Ah who the hell are we kidding? Wanna go have sex?

Woman: [Cheery up-beat tone. She stops right before the door and turns around to face Man] I thought you'd never ask. [She runs into Man‘s open arms. They embrace, then kiss.]

[BLACKOUT.]


*The End*
_________________
My plays: Random Incoherence
'vote 'mute in '08!
Diane's adopted son
<marlasinger> i'll rape you!
<marlasinger> i mean
<marlasinger> damnit marla be smooth

[spaciegirlreturn]

I only looked at this because I thought you meant prescriptions. ha ha
_________________
Me and my key...same as it ever was.

[Jo_16_2]

LOL i loved them all! good job!
_________________
Hello, I'm Jo.
And yeah, I'm a guy. Jo's just a nickname.
kthxbai

[lonelyelendi]

[jc_gypsy7]

Good job, Kenny.. I like your style!
_________________

[7Harry7Potter7]

Gosh Kenny. I really like them all. Can I have your autograph? You know, so when you're rich and famous, living in NYC and going to the opening nights of all your plays on Broadway I will have something to remember you buy, and possibly sell for lots of money.

I've never written a play. Which is actually kinda surprising considering I've written pretty much everything else. Maybe I'll try it...
_________________
Book 7: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!!!!!

Coming July 21, 2007!!!!!!!

784 pages

[lonelyelendi]

[Cloud_ax]

i love them kenny! you have a real talent there!
_________________
~Commander of the LG15 Defense Force

I'm Ziola's Little Brother.
My big sister is getting married!!

"If this is a dream, don't wake me up."

[7Harry7Potter7]

[lonelyelendi]

WOOPS! I forgot I have to add the rest of the stage directions to "In Sickness And In Health"!
_________________
My plays: Random Incoherence
'vote 'mute in '08!
Diane's adopted son
<marlasinger> i'll rape you!
<marlasinger> i mean
<marlasinger> damnit marla be smooth