Lonelygirl15

curriguy · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 14 Sep 2006 Posts: 397

couldn't cassie's old, needy friend be Bree as well?

so, we just got done working on "WHY" and were told you needed help over here...

but as far as I can tell, the poem looks pretty good.

S is for Summer · Lonely Fan Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 223

I'm with Curriguy, it looks pretty darned good to me.
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Hodabes · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 11 Sep 2006 Posts: 255

I still have a problem with:

the myope poet's old needy friend

Aren't all of the lines in every other poem eight syllables? It doesn't flow.

Mordrack · Lonely Fan Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Posts: 186

I can only agree, it just doesn't flow and it doesn't fit the iamb|iamb|iamb|iamb pattern.

curriguy · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 14 Sep 2006 Posts: 397

edit: nm, i found a flaw.

bosquelito · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 27 Sep 2006 Posts: 328

Doesn't fit the meter.
The rest of the lines in the poem do.
Something's off there
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Mordrack · Lonely Fan Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Posts: 186

plaxi · Suspiciously Absent Joined: 27 Sep 2006 Posts: 7

Dunneh · Casual Observer Joined: 25 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

I agree, theres something off about those lines. The first one is right though, so the second lind would have to rhyme with defend.

EDIT: I'll help but I have to have dinner first.
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bosquelito · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 27 Sep 2006 Posts: 328

which picture does this one match up with?

EDIT: nm, top right -- chalice
http://img132.imageshack.us/my.php?image=untitled4bqh9.jpg
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kristy2520 · Casual Observer Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 65

"needy old friend" just doesn't sound right to me. I thought the last two words were "only friend" but then I could never figure out the beginning, but maybe others can work with that and see since I really haven't had that much time to work with this.

ihavenopantson · Casual Observer Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 61

for line 2

the doe-eyed moppet's only friend

moppet = young child

mobilesskwrking · Suspiciously Absent Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 14

good job ihavenopantson....that's gotta be it for line 2

Dunneh · Casual Observer Joined: 25 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

That could be right. It's the best one I've heard so far. The first line is taken be reversing the back to the front.

DEED IF NULL YOW | A ED GEE HI STINT
YOU WILL DEFEND | IN THE GARDEN
Which becomes
IN THE GARDEN YOU WILL DEFEND

Thus all lines would be like that. It works if the line is divided like this:

ED FIR NYLON | DEED SEETHE MOP TYPO
ONLY FRIEND | THE DOE EYED MOPPETS

But it doesn't if the line is divided after DEED. Though I'm not sure where the divide lines are supposed to be.
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