Lonelygirl15

sparkybennett · Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:51 am Post subject:

There are great mothers, there are horrible mothers and there are a million who fall somewhere in between the two.

In my opinion that is one reason telling me that mothering is not just instinctive.
It is something you work at or you don't, you can get better at it or not.

I want the credit for being a good mom, I would not want someone telling me it was just instinct.

I am surprised as I study this, at the seemingly majority who believe in maternal instinct as fact. I never really thought about this before .

Shocked

<and Taiya I am sorry your experience with motherhood was painful> Sad

taiya · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 26 Sep 2006 Posts: 302

I did read one article (and I'll have to go back and try to find it) that talks about motherhood being a very difficult issue. You upset people no matter what stand you take on an issue. It was actually a fairly intelligent article.

I can't find very much on Elyse Rubenstein. All I can find is references that say she is a psychiatrist and that she says the maternal instinct exists.

(as for my mom, well, it is what it is)

toadlguy · Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 5:18 pm Post subject:

I have not done ANY of the assigned reading yet - but I just wanted to weigh in on this maternal instinct stuff before I do. Maybe I will change my mind - but this is where I am coming from.

Maternal instinct as a phenomenon exists. It not only exists in humans but in any other species where the young need to be cared for until they care for themselves. In some species this means only their own young (with instances of the killing of the young of others), in others any young (even of another species) - and in some, most notably other primates, both.

What I believe we are discussing here is how that "instinct" affects our concious thought. We have many instincts that come from an entirely different part of our brain then our concious thought. Sex, Hunger, Survival (Flight or Fight) - even, the latest neurological studies show, our connection perhaps with a "higher power". Our concious rational mind needs to make sense of these, sometimes, seemingly-irrational impulses or instincts and yet they often form the majority of our concious thought (I find I think about sex constantly Smile

) So in discussing the Maternal instinct we are not just discussing the instinct itself but how we percieve it in relationship to our lives. A great book on the discussion of this (and I have posted this before - so I greatfully receive another trout) is Phantoms in the Brain: Probing the Mysteries of the Human Mind by by V. S. Ramachandran & Sandra Blakeslee.

Harumph - now I will sit down and do the required reading. Smile

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taiya · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 26 Sep 2006 Posts: 302

Well, if you do the reading, you will see that other species can be very cruel to their young. I did like reading Sarah Blaffer Hrdy who suggested that the maternal instinct is more of a complex survival mechanism.

missthemystery · Casual Observer Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 68

where is the new password? why can't i find it?

Nora Volkova · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 332

the ewnay asswordpay is ealityray

This is all going to depend on how one defines "maternal instinct." It's a semantic question.
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S is for Summer · Lonely Fan Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 223

JoannaChildsface · Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 9:30 pm Post subject:

S is for Summer · Lonely Fan Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 223

JoannaChildsface · Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 10:56 pm Post subject:

Hey, thanks!
Smile

->J
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toadlguy · Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 11:58 pm Post subject:

S is for Summer · Lonely Fan Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 223

Nora Volkova · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 332

I just noticed that we all mistakenly blew off a question earlier -- sorry!

Elyse Rubenstein is, I believe, the expert in post-partum depression?
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taiya · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 26 Sep 2006 Posts: 302

Do you have any links to Elyse Rubenstein's work? I couldn't find anything substantial.

Nora Volkova · Enthusiastic Fan Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 332

The problem is that there are two Dr. Elyse Rubensteins -- one in Los Angeles, who is an arthritis specialist, and a psychiatrist in Philadelphia.

The Philadelphia doctor is the relevant one -- here are a few links: (er, here is A link, I guess...)

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/babycare/newparents/9897.html

There isn't very much substantial on the net, as you've pointed out. I think the fact that she is a clinical, rather than a research psychiatrist suggests that she talks about "maternal instinct" in a clinical sense, using it as a talking point to reassure nervous prospective mothers.
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