Mates

Episode 174/2x019

Mates
This is such a popular book lately
Blogger	Gavin
Date Posted	February 6th, 2008
URL	lg15.com
Forum	564|3=lg15}}
Length	2:58
Description	Went into town on my one day off to meet an old mate. Wish I’d have just stayed in bed.
Location(s)	Café
YouTube Tags	KateModern LG15 lonelygirl15 Gavin
Production Credits
Executive Producer(s)	Miles Beckett and Greg Goodfried
Co-Executive Producer(s)	Joanna Shields and Amanda Goodfried
Series Producer(s)	Pete Gibbons
Line Producer	Kelly Brett
Production Co-Ordinator	Claire Finbow
Interactive Co-ordinator(s)	Jonathan Almond
Production Runner(s)	Meryl Iona Edwards
Director(s)	Yusuf Pirhasan
Head Writer	Luke Hyams
Vidplay	Lawrence Tallis
Story	Luke Hyams, Neil Mossey, and Lawrence Tallis
Editor(s)	Yusuf Pirhasan
Cast
Gavin	Ralf Little
Tariq	Jai Rajani
Adjacent Blogs
Previous	"Self-Help section"
Next	"Julia Incredible"
Previous by Gavin	"Flowers"
Next by Gavin	"Mini Bah"

Mates is the one-hundred seventy-fourth webisode in the KateModern video series. It is also the nineteenth video of season two.

Transcript

Gavin: How are we all? Feeling pretty damn good meself, actually. It is bloody lovely to be back in the year 2008 after being stuck in Auntie Joan's 1970s time warp for so long. Now, now, don't get me wrong; it's j- I love her to bits, and she's a diamond, but living out in the sticks doesn't really suit a modern, sophisticated gentleman, such as myself. So it is- it is nice to be back in London. Plus I managed to get a day off from that brutal KP's job, so... I don't want to waste it. Which is why I'm meeting a very good friend of mine right here.

(Looks at his watch.) A-and the only other downside of-of being stuck out in No Man's Land is that the distinct lack of anyone under the age of sixty. (Looks around.) He should be here now, actually.

(Gavin looks around, takes out his phone to look at the time, and takes a sip of his drink. Cut to Gavin still waiting, his drink is now mostly empty. Cut to Gavin on the phone, now with two empty glasses in front of him. He gets off of the phone, slams it shut, and puts it in his pocket.)

Well this is starting to grate a bit. He's taking the George Michael now. He was supposed to be here over an hour ago and he's not even answering his phone. Some friend he is. This is my one sodding day off! (Crosses his arms.)

Oh! About time!

(Gavin gets up and swings the camera around to show Tariq approaching.)

Tariq: Hey, man. Alright?

Gavin: Don't "hey man" me; I've been here for hours!

Tariq: Sorry, mate, I just got held up. (Sits down.)

Gavin: (Turns the camera on himself.) Fine. Yeah, alright. I mean, you're here now. (Turns the camera back to Tariq, who is going through papers from his pockets.) So, uh, what you been up to?

Tariq: (Sets the papers on the table.) Uh, you know. (Takes a book out of his bag.) Nothing special.

Gavin: (Getting up.) What's that?

Tariq: (Turns the book to face the camera.) Oh, it's just that Van Helden guy's book.

Gavin: Yeah, I can see that. What are you doing with it?

Tariq: Don't worry, mate. It's just for research.

Gavin: Are you taking the piss?

Tariq: What?

Gavin: W-w- Do you think I-I can't see you or something? (Tariq takes out a pen and looks at the papers on the table.) Huh? Tariq, that's a Hymn of One membership form! (Points at the papers.)

Tariq: Like I say! (Points at the papers.) Research! (Begins to fill out the form.)

Gavin: Oh, great, so n-no chance of us having, like, a normal day then. (Turns the camera on himself.) I mean, can any of you lot just have even, like, one semi-normal day? Ever?

Tariq: Look, mate, I'm sorry I can't play with you on your one day off, but some things are just more important, alright?

Gavin: Oh, yeah. I'm sure it's absolutely imperative that you sign up to join a mental religious cult as soon as possible.

Tariq: Look, I just need to get access to Van Helden when he comes over for his book signing. (Holds up the book.)

Gavin: Access? What are you gonna do, Poirot? Outfox him with your razor-sharp detective skills? You've gone wrong, man.

Tariq: Oh, shut up, Gav!

Gavin: You're deluded, you know? You're no help to anyone.

Tariq: Oh, what, and you are? If you're so special, mate, how come you're working in some skanky pub for minimum wage washing dishes?

Gavin: (Gets up.) Yeah. Nice. Thanks. (Walks away.)

Tariq: Oh, that's right, Gav. Go and run away! As usual!

Notes

• Hercule Poirot, as referenced by Gavin, Is the lead detective character in Agatha Christie Novels.
• Gavin has a Nokia N95